Wish you were here?..

The people who film “Benidorm” missed a trick this week.My daughter and I went to have a week`s holiday in Ibiza…just a chilled week in a quiet resort mostly spending our time on sunbeds on the beach recharging our batteries, which is mostly what we did but as on every holiday there`s a cast of players and they refuse to be ignored…
Firstly we had the busty red head (probably about early 30`s) with her partner and her 8 year old son who was soon nicknamed “Special” due to asking totally inappropriate questions to various girls.”Do you have kids?” “What? I`m 13 years old idiot!” He always ate all his meals with his mouth open and then seemed to upset the other kids in the pool by being a bit too boisterous on the lilo.One day his mum was in the pool when her top fell down but she was taking a bit more time than normal in covering up, just making sure we all got a good luck at her charms. It was an all inclusive hotel but this family were actually paying for half board and a few days in had not managed to spend a penny on any drinks due to new found “friends”…
Then of course we had to have the obligatory Eurotrash.Usually this was an older woman in a string bikini and fake boobs but in this case it was a Russian woman who seemed to have had tanning injections as she had a perfect all over tan.Every day she was out in the sun and never seemed to look red/burned and the colour of a tan with injections is definately different to a normal one.Prancing around with a man`s trilby on her head and turqouise boots with of course platinum hair.
A couple of girls arrived, about 20 years old who for some reason insisted on joining all the little kids in the mini disco every night dancing along to all the kids songs doing all the actions…seriously, what`s that all about? And while we might not have had a lothario of a barman we did have a our entertainer.Along with his sidekick they tried their best to get everyone involved with the activities but it was clear that they didn`t like each other but “P” would sit with anyone (uninvited) who would listen to him telling you how good he is at his job (which he was ) but his last hotel had over a thousand people every week.He clearly felt that he was far too good for this hotel but that didn`t stop him enjoying the ladies.
But the two who stood out like a sore thumb were the lovely “A” and “C” who wandered about, never keeping still and more or less keeping everyone guessing as to the nature of their relationship.Two young lads, C with his blond hair with a lilac tint, pale skin and striking blue eyes…A looking like a model gliding along with short dark hair with his blue extensions (only one one side) falling over one shoulder..luckily we had the pleasure of their company.Being hairdressers they`d brought two lots of hair straighteners and a couple of pods of  colour, just in case…
Of course there`s always the family who nabs the best spot for the sunbeds.Funnily enough this seems to dictate some sort of hierarchy where everyone walking past feels compelled to acknowledge them with some sort of greeting, even if they didn`t particularly like them, probably hoping they`d get up a bit earlier themselves so they can leave their towels on the “best” sunbeds.And is it just me who gets up earlier on holiday than when they`re at home? Already looking forward to the next one though…

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