“Well if Hef can do it”….

After having recieved a message (on Match.com) from a 72 year old got me thinking…..I`m trying not to get too fed up about it but the reality is the men I want (same age as me) don`t want me, they want the 20years younger version, so obviously I attract the older guys as for them I`m the 20 years younger woman that they want! It`s always the same, I see someone my age who looks after himself, not bad-looking, well dressed so I get in touch but if they do reply I can usually tell with what they say if they`re just being polite….”sigh”…..Anyway had to laugh when I got the message from “L”. “Would love to get to know you better, I`m a young sprightly 72 year old who is looking for a nice lady for guaranteed good times, you will not be disappointed! Well if Hef can do it, I don`t see why I can`t! Please get in touch!” so I looked at his profile.He certainly looked older than his years but that might be because he looked like he needed a good ironing but there was nothing at all attractive about him but the thing is “guaranteed good times” at 72 would obviously involve his use of  a certain blue tablet, Oh…..god……nooooo don`t even want to think about it!!! But I was tempted to message back to point out the subtle differences between L and Hef…..I don`t think Hef has just got back from the bookies on his motorised scooter, parked it in the communal hallway in the block of warden controlled flats he lives in, gone and sat down dragging his oxygen cannister (due to years of chain-smoking Woodbines) waiting for his carer to come round and help him in the shower. Having said that I`m quite sure Hef has carers,they just all wear bunny ears I`m sure.Let`s hope his new wife has got her claim sorted out for carers allowance, she deserves it……Back in the day I too was on the HH payroll (although I never met him) but that piece of information will never,ever get told to any would-be suitors, can you imagine?? They`d just assume I`d still have the outfit and they`d be expecting all sorts of role-play.And of course I was always asked the same question….”Did you ever go to the mansion?” Well no I didn`t and the reason was only Playmates went to the mansion, the ones who took all their clothes off for an obscene amount of money and who can blame them? If I`d been offered that I`d be in my own mansion, but as it is I say anyone can have a grotto in their own back garden…..a pond,a plastic palm tree, a few fairy lights wrapped round it away you go…..I was never a playmate, just your average bunny girl and kept my clothes on but I did get followed for 2 days once when I lived in Spain by a German film director, begging me to be in his next film.Telling him I couldn`t act didn`t seem to put him off, “It really doesn`t matter,really. Just say you`ll be in it!” The penny only dropped when one of my friends(male) said “It doesn`t matter if you can`t act J…..it`s a porno”……

Share this Story

Coming Up…

Will be on That's Manchester on Saturday 19th March.

Subscribe to Blog via Email

Enter your email address to subscribe!