Talking Dirrty!!

As you can imagine there will be guys out there who are blatantly looking for sex and don`t try and hide it which is fair enough…at least you know where you stand.Usually under interests,here`s just a few……”sex in the car (not when you`re older surely?? Think what you`re back will be like in the morning!!) outside,inside a bit of role-play” Hmmm….nothing outrageous there….then you get “I want naughty women not so old…assertiveauntie/teacher type.I`m an early 50`s male who prefers the lady to take the lead,someone who will put me over her knee whenever she thinks I deserve it.” Ok…fair enough…..this guy wants someone similar…”Tall,single,alpha male seeks bedroom submissive for torrid sex. I like my woman to dress to please behind closed doors. By day I suspect you`re a strong woman in the workplace,sexually you`ll wish to submit to a stronger man.”  Then of course we have “I`m wild and wacky (god again??) never a dull moment and I`ll be honest my pics have been removed cos in a tipsy moment a few weeks ago I uploaded a sort of naughty pic which was only on view for about 10 minutes before it got taken down. Got some nice compliments from those who saw it though!”  Well let`s face it… WOULD say that ….Then you get the messages.One very smart looking,distinguished guy asked me “Which do you prefer? Mr Darcy or Mr Grey…..both very controlling men.” “Neither…..not into being controlled” I replied. Still waiting for an answer to that……But one of the most memorable was a younger guy in his thirties who sent me this message. “Hi…hope you don`t mind me messaging you but I wonder if you`d be interested in having a dinner party with some of your female friends.If you are agreeable to this I would like to be a naked waiter……I won`t charge you,it`s been a fantasy of mine for a while now.” Well…..after I`d stopped laughing I could just imagine the scenario…..”Thanks for that dinner…and the chipolata was lovely”…..”Thanks….but I didn`t do any chipolatas”…..Makes me wonder,are we on a dating site or is it Fantasy Island?? But you always,always get the ones who try and take it a bit further.You might be exchanging messages with someone…getting on,a bit of banter then a message,”What are you wearing?” Oh….we`re playing that game are we? So I reply…..tell him what he wants to hear…then”So,would it be ok to phone you?” Of course! Here`s my number,,,,,,” Sometimes the penny drops,sometimes not. Sometimes I get a message.”That was a premium line number you gave me.” “Correct! Surely you didn`t think I was going to give you my number? What? Oh you did?!! How insulting!!” Needless to say. I`m sure there`ll be more messages……..