Shoulda Woulda Coulda.

I love it when I read someone’s profile and it goes along the lines of “Ideally you will have blonde hair, be  articulate, no children, great sense of humour etc….so obviously you have to look at the photo and there is none!! Jesus, I’m guessing you’ve no hair (blonde or otherwise) not great in the looks department and a mysoginist to boot because a lot of the guys my age are not really in touch with their feminine side. A word of caution ladies, if a man has no female friends it’s probably because he doesn’t actually like women and they are for one purpose only If only I’d realised this back in the day I’d have got out of a couple of relationships a hell of a lot sooner than I did. Having said that I don’t want someone who’d give Liberace a run for his money and have to worry about housemate running off with them. It`s usually one of two camps that men my age fall into. One, they have NO dress sense what so ever or two, they’re trying too hard and end up wearing clothes that would be more suited to a 25 year old so what’s a girl to do? And don`t even get me started on the pics of guys with their tops off.  Really, are you sure you’re on the right dating site guys? Or the ones who have pics of themselves with their gleaming motor bikes “I have a Honda Goldwing-Honda Accord-Harley Davidson-Triumph 900” Sorry I can’t read any more of your profile as my eyes have just glazed over (with boredom). But by far the best photos are when I get a message and look at the photo and can’t believe how OLD someone looks, I have to stop myself from phoning the National History Museum and saying “I’ve found your missing dinosaur!”
Which brings me to a guy I’ve been sort of chatting with this week who I like to call Desperate Dan. I hate it when guys ask you what you’re looking for as you can’t really answer that. You might have a check list of things you’d like,(mine’s always hair and humour, tricky to get both apparently) but hopefully when you’re chatting with someone you find things you like about them and take it from there but some men have a clear idea of what they want which is long term and Dan was no exception so this is how it went.
Dan “So, what’s your plan? Are you going to date everyone on here until you find “him” maybe or are you going to give a half decent chap a chance and see if it develops into something more. You’re not a teenager anymore, life is too short for us now”.
J “True but I still wouldn’t be with someone just because we got on ok and life’s too short? Don’t want a companion do you? And just to clarify I don’t actually go on a lot of dates.”
Dan  “Well no but what you’re looking for and me for that matter may never be found but may grow with two people getting together initially”
J I don`t remember telling you what I was looking for but believe me it’s got to be a hell of a lot more than two people getting together out of desperation in the hope that something may “grow” out of it.”
Dan “Ok hunni talk tomorrow”
He’d definitely lost me then “Hunni”…….
Or there’s always this guy. “I am a smart attractive very very very young 62 (course you are) but looks, acts and feels very much younger. Successful business man with a taste for the good things in life. I have been told many times that I have a really pleasing and interesting personality and have my own good teeth. Please be assured I`m 100% geniune and feel sure if you respond you won’t be sorry”
Wow. Now where’s that guy with the, what was it again,the Triumph 900……..