Repeat Offenders

Sometimes you get a message from a guy who`s messaged you before…..clearly they`ve forgotten (especially if you`ve changed your pics) or maybe they`re hoping I`ve forgotten, either way if it`s someone I`ve not replied to in the past then the chances are I`m not going to reply this time…..One guy has repeatedly messaged and the reason I`venever replied is it`s…..shall we say a bit suggestive.The last time he sent a message he changed tack and seemed to realise he was playing it all wrong so I replied this time and it probably took 3 sentences before he said “So, has anyone managed to see you in some lovely lingerie including stockings?” And no I didn`t reply. Then there was “B” who messaged with “Hi, you look nice”. For god`s sake B we were having a conversation a couple of weeks ago! Either alzheimers is already setting in or even more worrying…..I clearly didn`t make any impression at all!
One guy who always sends a message every few weeks is “S”…..his profile picture is of his boat and his profile mentions not only his boat but also his super duper motor-bike, a high performance car and various other material posessions (you wouldn`t believe how many guys have a place in the Lakes) and there`s a lovely pic of all his lovely “things” but mysteriously not one of him…..and no I never reply. Then of course there is always the generic “Hi sexy! Fancy a chat?” which is clearly sent to 100 women every day. But out of every message I`ve ever been sent I am still waiting for someone with The Pina Colada song……
“If you like Pina Coladas and getting caught in the rain
If you`re not into yoga, if you have half a brain
If you like making love at midnight.”…..and you know the rest. Can`t believe no-one is using that on their profile! Instead we get “BOO! didn`t expect that did you?? I`m so funny me I`m funnier than Peter Kay….I love to cuddle up in my y-fronts and cravat with a can of stout and a good 78rpm record. I have a 3 year old child..”Do you know he`s right,that is hilarious….a 51 year old man with a 3 year old child I am laughing my head off…..

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