I’m not bitter…..

Obviously some people cope better than others at breaking up (especially if they saw it coming) but you do get the odd one who , shall we say, are finding the adjustment hard. One guy`s profile reads
“Been 3 years away from the ex so I’m now well into this single life. There`s good and bad points but at least my money’ s now mine, apart from the solicitor’s fees who should invite me to their xmas party. Now I want to seek out the partner I want and deserve. I have spent the last 15 years with a woman who’s idea of stimulating conversation was to discuss the lives of fictional characters in soaps, so I`m a little rusty in the art of good conversation. Looking for someone who doesn’t consider soaps as real life”
Then we have J from Derby.
“I met my ex on here and we had 2.5 wonderful years together but I screwed it up. I want her back but she doesn’t want me. We moved in together, stopped having fun but I didn’t do enough to put it right, she moved out just over a week ago.We are so good together, we think the same and have the same values. She is really attractive and I miss her like hell. Interests, getting back with her.”
But here`s my favourite. “If you’re the type of lass who’s gonna go off with my best mate don’t bother getting in touch!” Which brings me to a lot of guys on here are looking for “The One” that seems to me an awful lot of pressure for one woman to cope with.  Apart from the obvious scenario of being put on a pedestal what happens when they find I have feet of clay??
“Prepared to wait for the right one coming along because I believe in Destiny. I`ve lost 5 stone in 2 months and had to get a lot of new clothes from the charity shops. Ultimate honesty required!” But here is this week’s star prize, “P” messaged me with this enticing message.
“Hi you seem a nice lady, I was wondering if you would be interested in meeting up next time I come and visit my nephew in Manchester. I have a very good but dark sense of humour, in fact I’m short of friends these days as I’ve lost some of them because of my sense of humour. I know a lot about the showbiz world as I am a friend to a retired professional entertainer, he performed magic and had the first budgie circus in Southport. I am hoping to enter the X-Factor auditions this year in Liverpool. It’s taken me 8 years to perfect my voice so I`ll probably do an Elvis number. I know what I`m NOT looking for and that’s a woman in her mid-late forties that seems to think she’s still 18 and spends all her time in nightclubs having fancy photos taken with young guys. PS, I will be visiting my nephew in July as it’s quite a way from Southport.” Well now, what do I say to that??…….