From Cereal to Syria…

I don’t often mention my job in this blog (if ever), everyone seems to be aware that I work for a large retailer which as you can imagine has it’s moments.And when it’s Easter weekend plus a full moon in the mix, all I can say is it’s been a bit eventful.
I don’t care what anyone says when there’s a full moon people definately act differently, so when a customer approaches you be prepared for the mad,bad and sometimes bizarre requests.Friday and Saturday were relatively quiet in that respect, and with everywhere being closed on Sunday (and probably making the most of a gorgeous sunny day) everyone came out in force to do some shopping on Easter Monday.This is when the fun starts.
After telling a customer that there were no Easter eggs left, she said it seemed a bit strange that every retailer seemed to know the exact amount to buy as there were none to be found anywhere.Nothing to do with the fact that everyone buys them before weekend, it seemed to be a bit of a conspiracy and nothing I could say was going to change her way of thinking.
Another customer after being told that she couldn’t try a pair of knickers on was outraged.”But you can in Marks and Spencer’s.” I doubt that very much but she wasn’t having it and after making a big fuss she eventually flung them to the floor in disgust.I wonder if she does that anywhere else?
Today was no better.
An older dishevelled woman came waddling up to me looking like she was wearing at least ten layers of clothing.”I wonder if you have any of these?” she said as she was lifting her coat up.For one split second my heart stopped.Please please please don’t show me your bra or birthmarks,scars,tattoos, because I won’t know what to do,but she was showing me her handbag which was slung across her body under her coat.”I bought it from here ages ago and want another one.” After showing her what we had she stated that none were for her and was quite critical of the bags that were on offer,and then she started to talk about how her life would change if she had a camera,or joined the library,or the circus.I did actually feel quite sorry for as she was obviously lonely but I didn’t have the time to spend listening to her.
But then I had to go and help on checkouts.
I knew this one was trouble when she placed an empty cereal box flattened,onto the conveyor belt and made sure that I saw her put the cereal that was inside the box into her bag.I took a deep breath and started putting her things through the till.When I got to the cereal box I looked at her and said.”Am I just putting this through?” She pulled the cereal from her bag,”I’ve got this in my bag.I can’t exactly eat the box can I?” I carried on scanning while she had a bit of a rant about not needing boxes and packaging but I just went as quick as I could hoping I could get her out as soon as possible  then I noticed that the packaging was open on her mushrooms.”Yes I’ve opened it.Been eating them on the way round,and and the spinach is open too.”.She paid her bill,and as I was giving her the receipt I uttered the immortal words.”That’s just saying that we’re a bit cheaper than a (well known) competitor.” Oh.My.God.I might as well have lit a match and flung it onto petrol.
“You what?? Do you not realise that this competitor funds guns to be used on the front line by kids in SYRIA?? They fund the guns! There’s a convention every year in Northampton!They fund the guns used by kids on the front line!” Not only was she shouting this for everyone to see and hear but we were also getting the actions of someone using a machine gun.What do you say to that? I said the only thing I could.”Right.Thanks very much.See you now.”
Full moon.Easter.Customers.
But I did wonder what sort of mushrooms she’d been eating….

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