First Dates

Trying to sort out this frizz-ball that used to be my hair thanks to the salt water (I`m sure Cheryl Cole doesn`t have this problem) I thought I`d look through some of the options that would be available should I choose to go on a first date.Usually the option is to go for a coffee/drink somewhere so that if it does get a bit awkward you can leave fairly quickly. But some guys have other ideas……you get the romantics..”A visit to a pottery factory so we can make a clay pot and I can stand over you and hold your hands whilst shaping the clay with the Righteous Brothers singing Unchained Melody in the background”…..(only if you look like Patrick)…”I believe that trips to the moon are now available”…..”Having a bath together with a bottle of wine”….And the inevitable “Nice meal and a show and if it`s a warm night go for a stroll on the beach(??!!!) with a bottle of wine and sit with the waves crashing against the shore and watch the sun come up”……And then there are always the comedians.  “Absailing down the side of a doll`s house sounds like fun but only if it`s a bungalow as I`m scared of heights”…….!You won`t need to do any stomach exercises when you`re with me because your abs will be aching with all the laughing!”……..”Coffee or a milk shake bar wearing a wig and glasses”…….”How would you fancy going on a parachute jump then off to the theatre?” ….I`m not sure about this one,think he might have had a couple of bad experiences…..”Nice quiet meal where we can talk and get to know each other but close to a taxi rank in case you`re a fruit loop.”…..”Get drunk, run round naked on the beach”…Ha Ha!! I don`t run round naked in the bedroom …..!! “A nice restaurant then back to mine as I`ve got to make a flask up for fishing the next day. Who knows, we may not like each other.”……..”Candle-lit dinner in my limo, make sure your cards are good to go then back to yours to meet your off-spring,ha ha!”………..”As my uncle has a circus he has a large cannon that is used by the human cannon ball. If you can be fired from the cannon and hit the net with a smile….then you`re a keeper. If you don`t hit the net…well……or maybe fish and chips in a cortina on Blackpool sea front while listening to Barry White. PS…I don`t have a cortina”………”If it`s a walk on a moonlit beach you want I have a couple of bags of sand and a torch in the shed.” So…..spoilt for choice……which one do I choose???

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