Dodging Bullets .

I thought it was too good to be true, two dates in one week? Having had a good date last weekend (only for him to say “No” to another but I would have seen him again) I was looking forward to meeting a potential victim on Thursday my day off.
I’d spoken to “T” a couple of times and with hindsight he did seem really keen.He had made a reference to one of my pics on a dating site as I’m wearing a dress that shows a little bit of cleavage but I just put it down to a bit of cheeky humour. Having made some arrangement to meet for coffee in the afternoon I nipped into Manchester to meet up with a friend before cutting it short and making my way to the Quays. Just as I got there I received a phone call from T saying he’d taken his bike out for a spin and completely lost track of time.He was about half an hour away from where he lived then he had to get showered/changed and make his way over to meet me.Was I alright waiting for about an hour and a half? The answer was “No,” He seemed quite shocked at this so I suggested maybe we should just meet up another time, no harm done but he wasn’t happy. “I want to see you today.I’m the one travelling over to see you so you could at least make the effort.” Hang on a minute…
“I’m the one already here at the time we arranged, you’re not.I’m certainly not prepared to hang around because you can’t tell the time.So how about meeting up over the weekend?” He was insistent.”No.I really want to meet up today.You’re not busy later are you?” Actually I was busy and I told him, which is when he got quite angry. I had ruined his day off now, I could at least wait for him as he’d gone to the trouble of booking a room in a nearby hotel and if he cancelled it he would lose money.What sort of bitch was I anyway?
The sort of bitch who immediately blocked his number.
But I was shocked and appalled that this guy had assumed I would happily go along to spend an afternoon in a hotel room with a complete stranger, which tells me he’s done this before. I’m sure some women are probably doing the same as this guy but there was no way I gave any indication that I was up for that.We all know the safety rules of online dating and while it’s easy to forget when you get excited about meeting someone new,this was a harsh reminder to always keep them in mind.
Date safely ladies.

Who Said Dating Was Fun?

I should have had a date last Saturday night.I should have been having fun/banter, lots of wine and hopefully having a very pleasant evening but instead I ended up watching Eurovision and wondering if Conchita Wurst has been doing some waist training as her waist was so tiny.

I suspected on Friday that maybe this date wasn’t going to happen, but I tried to push all negative thoughts away and focus on the positive and try to decide on what I was going to wear.Saturday came and I got a short text around lunch time saying “In Tesco’s,I’ll txt you later.” Around 4 o’clock I got the text,he was extremely sorry but he was probably going to have to cancel due to having a migraine.Hmm…I can imagine him having a migraine after  having met me, but I was a bit surprised to say the least but obviously couldn’t exactly call him a liar.He seemed keen to rearrange the date though so I gave him a chance and we arranged it for Monday night.
Monday came and although we’d exchanged a few texts nothing was mentioned about meeting in the evening until I got a text around 9 o’clock.”We could have been out tonight.” I was quick to reply.”But we’re not.” He said he’d made a subtle hint in earlier texts that day but I know damn well he hadn’t so I had to reply with “Clearly I’m having a blonde senior moment day and thick as two short planks because I completely missed the extremely subtle hint you say you made.” And no, I didn’t get a reply.
The last date I had was a few weeks ago and that was a bit of a disaster.After finding out he works at the hospital I asked my flatmate to make some enquiries and apparently it turns out that my prospective date wasn’t well liked but as I didn’t work with him I thought I’d meet him anyway.It was a lovely hot sunny day and as I had arrived at the meeting place first I sat outside,but didn’t have to wait long before his car pulled up.
“S” was a very chatty guy.He never shut up from the time he got out of the car until he got back in it to drive off and I have to say my ears were bleeding.I now know all about his two colleagues that he works with and where they’re going on holiday and S is upset that they have booked the weeks off that he wanted even though he’s probably not going anywhere.I know where they live,who they’re married to,which pub they use and what they have for breakfast.I know all about S’s ex wife and her new boyfriend,where they like to go,and (of course) she really wants him back.I know that he’s now left the hospital to start a new job as he couldn’t make the changes to the rota that he wanted to make.
I was starting to understand why not many people seemed to like him.
I’m sure he must have asked me a question,but if he did it would probably be something he can turn right around back onto him. But while he was droning on and clearly not interested in anything I might want to say I had to fight the impulse to suddenly say to him,
“And then the house burned down.”
Let’s just say that sometimes,dating is just sheer hard work trying to sort the wheat from the chaff….

The Best Sex I Never Had.

Hubby`s having a melt down as his 40th birthday looms closer,he`s not looking forward to it at all.I try to point out that it`s got to be better than the alternative, but he`s not having it.
“I like to think that I`ve yet to have the best sex I`ve ever had.What about you?” I looked at him.”Are you seriously asking me that question?” “Well yeah.” I think we all know the answer to that one…
Now let`s see. Correct me if I`m wrong here but ideally you have to fancy someone yes? Want to rip their clothes off,lose yourselves in one of the best recreational activities known to man and feel like you can never get enough of them.Fair play when you`re young and gorgeous in your 20`s/30`s and think that this is it.You`re never ever going to get old.Not you.You refuse point blank but Father Time has other ideas.
Twenty years on you look back and realise that there was nothing wrong with your body,all those issues you had stressing over what you thought was wrong with you,when all the time the extra weight you insisted you were carrying was probably on your ears.But as you`ve got older so have the men and as we all know, men don`t age well.So when your marriage breaks down and you`re back in the game the odds are very much shortened trying to find someone that you actually like, never mind anything else.
None of us look like we did when we were young, I accept that.But people`s outlook on life can change when they get older and that can make them unattractive.Trust me, I`ve been on enough dates now to know the difference.
So as much as I admire hubby trying to fight against getting/feeling older I for one know that yes.I`ve more than likely had the best sex of my life, but I do like to hear the tales he tells about snogging DJ`s in the gay village….

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly…

A couple of weeks ago I went to a speed dating event which was held in one of the trendy bars in town.I`d been wanting to do this for ages but was waiting for one with my age group, which believe it or not doesn`t happen very often.This particular event was aimed at 39-55 year olds so I was guessing that it would probably be more of the mid to late forties who would be there.
I arrived on time (even though the host didn`t, she was 30 minutes late) and spotted a very well dressed lady of a similar age to myself, standing in the doorway of the bar looking like she was waiting for someone. “Are you here for the speed dating?” I asked her.She gave me a withering look and replied “What? Speed dating? No I am not.Never have been and never will be, as I don`t have to.” Oh well bully for you missus and by the way, those shoes you`ve got on don`t go with that dress…
Finally we were all allowed to go upstairs to the private room (with a bar) and given name badges, pencil and a score card, the idea being you write the name down of the person you are chatting with, and write a brief description of them to jog your memory before filling in  the questionnaire on the speed dating website. All the women were to remain seated while the men moved onto the next lady to his left and you had four minutes to chat before the bell rang as a signal for the men to move on.
While waiting for the last people to arrive and our host to sort herself out, it was starting to look and feel a bit like being at the school disco.The men were all grouped together at one end of the room,and the women at the other, all the while weighing each other up.Chatting to a few of the women (who most of them had brought a friend) it was interesting to find out that this was a first time at one of these events for nearly everyone.I couldn`t wait to get started though and after realising two men hadn`t shown up (or not bought a ticket) our host made a start.
I`d decided not to ask anyone what their profession was as you run the risk of a conversation becoming a bit of a game of who has what and let`s face it, I`ll never win that game, so let`s just see where the conversation goes…Four minutes is a long time when the conversation is a bit stilted but on the other hand you can just be getting into your stride and getting interested,when the bell goes.Interestingly enough, three men made a point of telling me (without being asked) what they did for a living.One was a pilot, and two were doctors.One of the doctors told me his children had been to private school.Don`t get me started on that one.”Really? One of my children went to private school and I probably had to deal with more trouble that went on there than the other child that went to state sc hool.” It didn`t shut him up unfortunately.Another guy had a script.He asked me a question which was something along the lines of ” What`s the most exciting thing you`ve done?”  Christ, how long have you got?…He wasn`t interested in my answer though as he went into this story about Canada, bikes,cousins…”yawn”…and I heard him say the exact same thing to the woman sat next to me.
The evening came to an end and most people had gone but a group of women remained and one or two guys but I wasn`t interested in a post mortem so I made my excuses and left.The next day I put three ticks against three guys I`d like to see again and hoped I`d get a match.Unfortunately I didn`t get one….beginning to wonder if it`s because I said my profession was astronaut….

Table for One please….

It`s not ideal is it? Going out on your own, restaurants,cinema and the odd holiday but when you`ve recently moved to a new place that`s exactly what you have to do while you`re trying to make new friends.
A couple of weeks ago I decided to go along to a new comedy night at The Mark Addy in Manchester.As it was on a Wednesday night that suited me just fine, so after paying a fiver (which was good value considering there was four comedians on) I got myself a table and waited for  the fun to start.Obviously people around were in groups or couples and god only knows what they were thinking of someone who`d come out on her own but let`s face it….if you`re going to worry what anyone thinks you`d never get past your own front door so I don`t let that bother me.
Obviously not everyone has the same sense of humour so I was hoping I`d find at least one of them funny.I`d heard of Mick Ferry who was on as I`d seen him at the Comedy Store at Deansgate Locks and thought he was quite funny, the rest…well I was yet to find out. The MC is Smug Roberts (so I`m guessing he`s going to be there every time) who I have to say is hilarious and was sorry to see him leave the stage to make way for John Warburton.Now this guy has a string of accolades proclaiming him to be best comic, newcomer,up and coming and all the rest and he didn`t disappoint.As he was making fun of Salford everyone could relate so he had us all on-side.So, two down and two to go.The next one was a Canadian lady Allyson June-Smith.Now I wasn`t expecting to like her as I don`t usually like the in-your-face approach so she was going to have to be good to impress me…and she was.I was pleasantly surprised to find her quite funny, and then of course Mick Ferry completed the line-up.
So for a fiver I`d been entertained all evening at The Captain`s Comedy Club ,it finished early enough to get the last tram home, it`s on a Wednesday night, every month, so what`s not to like? I`m definately going to be there at the next one on Wednesday 30th….hopefully not a  table for one though….

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.

A friend of mine was recently going through some old photographs after the recent death of her dad.”There`s a few with you on you know” she told me.That surprised me to be honest but then she said she was thinking about posting them on facebook and didn`t know how I`d feel about my ex-husband being on the same photos.I thought for a minute before replying.”Not a problem, just make sure that they`re the ones I look fab on!” Well what could I say? I can`t change the past or deny it and we are talking rather a long time ago but a recent article I read in a newspaper made me think…..
The article was about people (I`m going to assume mostly women here) who were having hypnotherapy to help them get over a break-up.So instead of having that awful heart ache for a while they were hoping to be over it in a very short space of time which sounds really good doesn`t it? Can`t blame anyone for trying to bypass that horrible feeling two seconds after waking up in the morning before realisation dawns that no, no-one`s died just your relationship…but what if you were offered a service that takes it one step further? Not only can you feel a lot better but you can actually have that person removed from your memory? If you`re at a time when the break-up is very recent I`m betting you`ll say yes to that as it`s easy to just remember what`s recently happened. It`s an old cliche but it`s true, time is a great healer and further down the line you`ll remember why you got together and even though it ended badly it didn`t start off badly did it?
We all ,learn from every relationship good and bad and in a way it helps you to know what you do/don`t want.You`ll be able to recognise the red flags a mile off (hopefully) and run a mile but also you can recognise a good `un when you find one and hopefully he`s a keeper…but most of all why deny your past? It`s what shaped you into the person you are now and there`s nothing better than sitting drinking wine with your girlfriends discussing all the idiots you went out with  back in the day….