Mutton dressed as lamb? Hopefully not dahling….

Last week I received an invitation to attend the wrap party of the Channel 4 programme First Dates which would be held at some celeb hot spot nightclub in London.After the initial excitement had died down I started to feel a bit anxious about what the hell was I going to wear? A woman of a certain age has limited options and as I was mentally flipping through my wardrobe discarding everything I owned I decided to do some on-line shopping. After a couple of hours I hadn’t found anything mainly because the dresses I was looking at, when I had put the entire ensemble together, made me look as though I was going to a wedding. Definitely not the look I wanted but this was the problem.T his nightclub was going to be full of bright young things under 25 and I was going to stand out a mile by being twice their age for a start so I didn’t want further proof that I shouldn’t even be there by wearing something ridiculous.
If I had been going there 25-30 years ago it would have been no problem as you just wear whatever is in fashion at the time but we’ve all heard that saying “If you wore it first time around then you can’t wear it again”. At the minute the shops are full of jumpsuits, all-in-ones, boiler suits call them what you will but that used to be my trademark at one time. At 20 yrs old I was strutting along in a bright yellow one with a red belt and red shoes thinking I was all that, yes I was that canary. I also had a skin tight denim one that I wore to death that eventually got nicked off the washing line (so I know I must have looked alright in it as someone clearly wanted to look the same).
Living in Gibraltar I had a lovely lilac one which was covered in zips which I used to wear with suede lilac ankle boots. At the time I was working in a hotel and as accommodation was included I ended up sharing a room with a girl who worked in the nightclub that was underneath it. After wearing this particular outfit to death I put it in the bin and then got the shock of my life when I walked in the nightclub one night and my room mate was wearing it along with the boots! What could I say? I’d thrown it away and she’d fished it out and kept it. I know imitation is the sincerest form of flattery and all that but for god’s sake find your own style!
Which brings me back to shopping when you’re older. Your body shape changes especially after having kids and you want to cover up more and let’s face it no-one wants to see ageing flesh on display so it`s sometimes difficult trying to find a happy medium.I still want to be able to dress with a nod to fashion and look smart but definitely no short skirts/low tops/backless numbers. Might have to try Bon Marche as I hear David Emmanuel does a designer range for them but we all remember a certain wedding dress he made so maybe not.

“Go and drink your saucer of milk”……

What feels like a bit of a car crash week on POF hasn`t ended as badly as it could have as I`ve made a new friend…..the lovely “C”.Hopefully a few of you have been watching the Channel 4 dating show (which I applied for) “First Dates”. C was due to appear in the last episode this week and unfortunately at the last minute there was a bit of a problem with the guy they had matched her with, in that he was a reporter/journalist and no-one could be found as a replacement at the last minute so we`ll just have to wait and see if she appears on the next series. But let me just say C is a very glamorous 50 something lady with (her words) porn star boobs so you can imagine the type of messages she gets! She did say that she`s actually had a guy turn up for a date in trainers and bicycle clips but she didn`t hang around to get to know him and one guy who was taking her out for a meal had vouchers…..now that doesn`t surprise me.
For the first time ever on this site I was actually blocked by some-one this week.”M” had been messaging for the past couple of weeks and I wasn`t quick to answer as it soon became clear he didn`t have a lot to say. He `s a widower which didn`t help as I`m a bit reluctant to date widowers (future blog post) he`d been married 33 years and thought he was ready to find someone else. Reading between the lines I don`t think he knew what he wanted as he had no friends due to the fact he and his late wife had done everything together…..I know,not good……so this particular fish was feeling out of his depth I think but it still doesn`t excuse what actually happened……
I hadn`t replied to a couple of his last messages hoping he might just disappear but no, he sent another one.”Getting fed up with people on here.A couple of ladies I`ve been chatting with sound really old, like they`re just waiting to meet someone to actually do things with. They don`t do anything!” Now this surprised me as this is exactly what M himself was doing…..so I replied. “Well what interests do you have?”  “Nothing really, just hoping to find someone to do things with”. For god`s sake. “So maybe these ladies are in the same frame of mind as you then?” Oh he didn`t like that. “I`m not old! What are you saying? Anyway maybe we could meet up for a coffee?It`s ok if not”. It was time to tell him. “To be honest I don`t think I`d be right for you, I don`t think you know what you want.” This obviously didn`t go down well as he replied “You could have f*****g told me this last week instead of wasting my time!” Oh……..”You never asked me last week and we were just getting to know each other but it would seem I was right to refuse”  He was fuming. “Who do you think you are?”   Enough`s enough. “It`s hardly my fault that you are so boring” I said. I think he nearly broke his fingers trying to type quick enough with his reply.”Says she who`s been too busy working for the past 2 weeks to meet up” “I`ve had time….just not for you”. I didn`t have to wait long for the next message “Go and drink your saucer of milk”, I chose not to reply so he sent another message so this time I replied. “The fact that you`ve got no friends says it all to me” “What? I have 2 cousins who I see every week and we go for a walk round Bury market then go for something to eat so you don`t know what you`re talking about!!” I couldn`t resist “So your relatives are your best mates. can you hear that sound? It`s duelling banjo`s…I rest my case” After sending me one last nasty message I found that I was blocked. Just as well, really I was gearing up for all out war but clearly I`d had a lucky escape. A day out round Bury market…..I wouldn`t have been able to contain my excitement……